How you can forgive, without forgetting

ImageIf you sit in a rocking chair and rock slowly you will never go anywhere. Likewise, if you rock fast, you will never go anywhere – but you will sweat, and worry, and develop blisters on your hands from gripping the handles so hard. Anger is like that. If you hold on to it, it will get you nowhere.

 “When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” – Catherine Ponder

Grudges and anger go hand in hand. One does not exist without the other — find an angry person and you will no doubt find something, or some things, incidents, events, people, persons, that they cannot forgive. Why is that? Forgiveness is not the same thing as forgetting … people don’t forget being hurt … but they can move beyond the sting and even rise above the desire to hate someone else for their wrong doing.

Most people, however, while they like to think they don’t hold grudges —because, well, saying you forgive someone sounds far more lofty than saying you don’t — most of us do not have the inner strength, even courage if you will, to forgive others their misgivings, especially when they have done something that directly caused you to suffer. But that’s when we need to recognize the difference between forgiveness and forgetting. Forgiveness allows us to move on. It doesn’t heal the pain or blur the memory of hurt but it obliterates anger. And in my humble opinion, anger is a waste of emotion. While it should be acknowledged, it should also be disregarded as a complete and total waste of one’s energy. Because anger will destroy you … it will melt you. I’ve seen it — you’ve probably seen it … and it isn’t pretty. Besides, rocking chairs are meant for leisure, not for worry. Enjoy life while you can!

Today’s post inspired by The Daily Prompt: I Can’t Stay Mad at You – “Do you hole grudges or do you believe in forgive and forget?”

Dear Coffee Cup, Thank you for never talking back …

Pay IT: Forward or Not Just PAY ... unless you forgot your wallet!“Thank you.”

“Thank you for always being there, for always listening, for always being the one I can count on to brighten my mornings, energize my afternoons … but most of all, I thank you for not talking back when I say stupid things, when I think ridiculous things, when I threaten to switch to green tea and shelf you for eternity. For all these things I thank you  and I’m so happy to have had this opportunity to let you know how I really feel.” Continue reading

Did Hemingway really have sex with all those people?

sun twoSo I wrote a sex scene. And it wasn’t as God awful as I expected.  Not the sex part … umm, err, I mean the actual writing of it. Let me explain … first of all, one of the things that have always been on my list of writing challenges is to write a sex scene. (What? Did you think a Haiku would be more challenging?) See someone once told me that after you tackle your first sex scene (literally of course, not figuratively), then by comparison everything else will be easy. I didn’t really believe her at the time, but now I get it.  Now I know what she meant. I think.

Continue reading

In the company of a fallen sailor …

honor guardA few days ago I was fortunate — and yes, I meant to use the word “fortunate” — to be traveling on a commercial airplane commandeered by the U.S. Navy. Continue reading

Holding on to Paris with Humphrey Bogart


We’ll always have Paris.” ― Humphrey Bogart as Rick Blaine, Casablanca

Versailles. Arc de Triomphe. The Eiffel Tower. When I was in grade school these were a few of the places I dreamt about visiting. Fortunate to attend a small, private school where learning the French language was an everyday part of the curriculum, I grew up with plans to attend the Paris-Sorbonne University and further my intense curiosity for French culture. By the time I was half way through high school, I was darn near fluent in the language and poised to become a foreign exchange student. I was, however, also an extremely driven athlete and was afraid that my absence would put my chance for a college scholarship at risk. So I didn’t go and my dreams of Paris remained just that — dreams. Continue reading

How I know the Starbucks siren loves the U.S. Military

star militaryI may have mentioned that the twin-tailed siren and I are friends. Good friends. No, the BEST of friends. She gets me. And I am a better person when she’s around. So the other day, we were chatting it up when coincidentally an email from Starbucks arrived. And for those of you that think this has anything to do with the big red-cup controversy, you are wrong. That’s just plain stupid. The siren and I agree — stupid. Here’s how the email, direct from Seattle, read  … Continue reading