Phone Home

The ride home was quiet. It was dark. The car hummed like it had a habit of doing.  I don’t know if my father’s car was the only one that hummed, or if all silver Mercedes sedans did that in the early eighties.  Either way, I thought it was a rather delightfully odd characteristic that this car possessed … one that persuaded my mother and me to name it Ethel – or was it Bethel?  Betsy, that was it!  She was a Betsy. And there I was. Alone, in the middle of the ivory colored leather backseat humming along with my carrier for the thirty five minute drive from the theatre to our house.

We had just been to see the movie ET- and I, for those thirty five minutes in the backseat, counted a gazillion stars and came to a startling (no pun intended) understanding that I might not be the only one looking at those stars.

Once we were home, I went inside … walked through the kitchen … down the hall … and into the bathroom where I locked the door behind me and slithered over to the window … that I unlocked, opened, punched out the screen and hoisted myself up so I could crawl through to the outside world and be alone … with the stars and whomever – or whatever – else was studying the sky that night.

I sat in the damp yard, crossed my legs and listened … the frogs were exceptionally loud … and the sky was obsidian dark with a wide scattering of bright speckles that, my science teacher, had told me were balls of fire larger than the Earth (which at the ripe old age of twelve I had a hard time believing).

I remember sitting there – half excited and pleased with myself for “sneaking” out of the house; half panicked yet thrilled by the thought that I was not alone … I even believed that (don’t laugh – if you do, I will find you and hit with a laser beam) I would be contacted … like from “another world” … (OK I can hear someone laughing and I don’t think that’s very nice!)

But, to my dismay, I was not “chosen” by another world to be their “Earthly contact”, so I crawled back in that bathroom window, replaced the screen, unlocked the door … and re-entered the world of a 1982, West Coast, USA, pre-teen, looking for … searching for … some meaning to her existence – which I cannot entirely say that I am satisfied I have found.

Although, my children have certainly awarded me purpose … they ground me … they drive me … they piss me off … they delight me … and while I do feel they give me purpose, sometimes I still feel a yearning for more … my insides get pulled … my gut … it tells me that there is still more that I need to do with this life I have been given … I still have an unfulfilled calling for something … something, that I have yet to discover – or, perhaps, just something I have yet to uncover …

“Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more.” ~ Tony Robbins

Do you ever wonder what else life has in store for you – or what it is that you have been made to do?

11 comments

  1. That was wonderfully written, and yes, I think about what I'm here for all the time! It seem unthinkable to me that we don't all have some kind of purpose, even if it's a purpose we give ourselves.

  2. Thanks for the follow =] The favor has been returned.

    But on to this post; this is truly a beautiful piece of writing. I am still young but it reminded me of when I did sneak out to go walk to the park to figure out what this life has for me. I would sit and think that I was just one little speck in this world of ours and I didn't know where to begin. Still, today I think about what it is I am made to do in this life.

    I can't wait for more future posts from you. =]

  3. Yes I know, truly know, we each have a purpose. Some of us know it straight away others of us discover it as we journey down life's path.Big Hugs, please stop by tomorrow and linkup for the Thursday Favorite Things Blog hop. :-)

  4. Hello, great post! I'm stopping by from a blog hop as a new follower.

    I wonder quite often what life has in store for me in the future. A few years ago I thought I knew exactly how the course of my life would go….but then things changed, which is an understatement, lol. I now live in another country 4000 miles from where I thought I would live out my years. My life has completely taken a different path and I can't help now but wonder…what next?? :-)

  5. I Do believe there is a purpose for each of our lives. But only if we choose to do the right and become better spiritually, physically , mentally, is how we find out why we are here. Because as we grow is like the windows of heaven open up and we receive that much needed inspiration and guidance.

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