I learned two things from grandmother. The first, after some glorious holiday exchange between aunts and uncles, first cousins and second cousins, and anyone else that shared our surname was,
“Never apologize for who your family is. You didn’t choose them,” she told me. “As for your fiends, if you have crappy friends that’s entirely your fault. For them you can be regretful.” And so, for the last twenty years I have given Cousin Eddie a break—I still don’t claim him, but I understand that his relation to me was not my choosing.
The second thing I learned from my late grandmother was that it’s OK to put dirty dishes in the dishwasher.“Why would I rinse my dishes first?!” she proclaimed. “The reason I have a good dishwasher is to wash my dishes.”
So yesterday morning, after breakfast, after coffee, after the remainder of the previous night’s dinner dishes were loaded into my top-rated washer (that I bought because, like my grandmother, I want my dishwasher to wash my dishes, not me) I momentarily stepped away from the kitchen to feed the dog when I heard clanging, clacking and water running. What the #@#$&??? I thought. So I peered back around the corner only to spy my mother-in-law unloading the dishwasher, rinsing and scrubbing the dishes, and then reloading my top-rated dishwasher.
And so, I sent a silent prayer up to my grandmother and wondered what she would say if she were watching. I’m sure she’d laugh. And I’m sure she’d remind me that unlike my family I did not, exactly, choose my in-laws and that their misgivings are theirs – not mine. Ahhhh … the holidays …
Yes, I know … I said I was shelving my computer until the New Year, but alas, this last incident drove me to need some therapeutically sane typing.