he Art of Chewing Loudly

Anyone that knows me, knows I harbor some serious resentment towards people that chew gum as if it was their meal on Earth. But because you can read about that here, I’m going to bypass the whole synthetic rubber topic and focus strictly on The Art of Chewing Loudly – sort of sounds like a book title, doesn’t it?

Here’s the thing, I get that certain foods are going to be louder to chew than others (and no, I’m not suggesting everyone eat nothing but oatmeal) but, IF you are going to eat something crunchy, could you at least close your mouth? God gave you a nose – please, use it to breathe while chewing loudly.

What? Have I offended someone? Oh, come on – seriously? Look, I’m sorry to be the one to break it to you, but I promise, your friends and family will be happier for it. Yes, I’m having one of THOSE days …