So the last time it was the night before a race for me, I did the noble thing and shared with the world the absurd advice I was given once on how, and why, I should give myself a coffee enema (yep, all true … read HERE if you don’t believe me). And now that it’s that time again – the night before a big race – I feel obligated to share some more advice for all you novice runners out there – some advice, that while yes it does center around coffee again, it does not (beg the intentional pun here) center around the backside of absurdity. So here it goes … do NOT under any circumstance, add butter to your prerace cup of joe.
First of all, why would you? I mean enough with all the Bulletproof coffee talk – enough with the latest wanna-lose-weight-crap (oh, look, another pun) just add butter in your coffee … Although, come to think of it, the mere thought of adding butter to my coffee makes me want to vomit on the spot – not exactly a weight loss method I’d approve of, but well, chasing a meal with a butter-laden laté does churn the stomach.
But even so, I’m forewarning you … the morning of race day is not the time to try out this newfangled idea of what’s good for you. Do what you always do … and take heed not only from me, but from the mighty Twin-Tailed Siren herself (yes, yes, you know the woman I speak of … the green goddess that bears her likeness over her celestial brewed offerings aka Starbucks) – because as far as I know, she has yet to include a vat of melted butter next to the half and half that sits on her bar, and until she does I shall refrain from adding butter to my coffee and I highly suggest you do too, be it race morning or not.