Toenail Found in Upscale Yoga Studio

ImageWho knew yoga could hurt so damn bad?? Last week I sprained my thumb — OK … OK … I’m really not sure if I sprained my thumb or not BUT I do know it hurt like hell to try and open a bottle of wine (no worries, I had a neighbor open it for me). Who knew yoga could impair one’s ability to drink wine!

Moving forward to this last weekend … and the loss of one said toenail. You read the headline correctly — somewhere between my forward fold and crescent warrior I lost a toenail. Yep. My big toenail. It’s probably still sitting somewhere on the studio’s hardwood floor. I looked for it — really I did. But I couldn’t find it. I’ll bet someone else has found it by now.  I wonder who picked it up, mulled it around and thought, “What the hell is this?” And then …“Ewwww!”

In all fairness to the ancient practice of downward dogging and upward dogging, I really can’t blame the loss of my toenail on my asanas (did I spell that right?) It was, after all, a fake toenail — yea, yea. Get over it. I have a fake toenail. So what. Go ahead … call your friends. Tell everyone you know. I’m fine with that.

Every couple of weeks I have to replace it with a new one. I use superglue to adhere the fake nail … hmmm … I wonder if I should write the folks at Superglue and tell them that it can be used for more things than sticking a man’s hardhat to the top of a metal beam??  I suppose I should enlighten my dear readers and tell you why I wear a fake toenail … but alas, the story behind the murder of my real toenail isn’t all that entertaining. So I’ll skip it. But come back tomorrow — maybe it will make tomorrow’s headlines.

The moral of the story: Well, shoot I guess there isn’t one.


Today’s Post inspired by The Daily Prompt: Ripped Into the Headline“Write about something that happened over the weekend as though it’s the top story on your local paper.”

4 Comments Add yours

  1. Betsy says:

    Nasty!!!! The only thing I leave at the yoga studio is crotch sweat.

    1. snosler says:


      Shauna Nosler The Flavored Word

  2. Big Daddy says:

    Thats gross. Somone is going to be in the the middle of a downward Dog and see the back side of that thing.. The only thing that can eat through super glue is Toe Jamb… Gross

    1. snosler says:

      You suck.

      Shauna Nosler The Flavored Word

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