I have always lived a fairly regulated life – well, maybe that’s not entirely true. I mean there were those first ten years where I lived as I wished … meaning I ate when I was hungry (imagine that), slept when I was tired, and with the exception of the occasional chore or school project I didn’t want to do, I lived as I wished. But once I got a little bit older, something clicked in my brain and I started thinking too much — way, way too damn much.
In my twenties I was about as routine oriented and as structured as a United States Marine. I ate the same thing for breakfast EVERY single day — if I traveled, it came with me. If I went to a restaurant, again, it came with me and I’d sit, with my chocolate Powerbar and desperately try to ignore the occasional whiff of baked goods, of syrup, of sautéing frittatas … those people were week … I thought … they had no directive … at least that’s what I told my brain, or the voice preempting my, shall we say, over-the-top dedication.
I also ran, EVERY single day, the same loop, the same seven miles, the same pace … again, EVERY single day. I never allowed myself any diversion … EVER. And basically, well, I was a rotten bitch — I was. Because if one tiny little thing was out of place I was never able to adapt. I didn’t have a whole lot of fun back then. But, eventually, I evolved … I went beyond the pale (so to speak). I had a few rough years, not knowing my own limits — not recognizing when I’d overdone things. Sometimes I drank too much, ate too much … and sometimes I even drank too little, ate too little … sometimes I obsessed over not doing as much as I did about over doing … if that makes sense — it does if you’ve been there. Trust me, it does.
Nowadays, I think — I hope — I have discovered a happy medium. I try new things, but I also adhere to a routine more stable than most. It’s in me. And I’m better for it. And yes, I admit I still eat the same chocolate Powerbar for breakfast EVERY day (well, its a different bar everyday, but you know what I mean), and I still run EVERY day BUT, if you go to a restaurant and you spy a blonde woman tearing into her Powerbar in the booth next to you, it won’t be me … I have loosed my reins, oh so slightly and every now and then find myself enjoying a frittata and staying calm all at the same time. God I’ve come a long way ; ) Cheers!!
Today’s post inspired by: The Daily Prompt: Just Another Day — “Our days our organized around numerous small actions we repeat over and over. What’s your favorite daily ritual?”