I feel bad about the whole cat thing … but I was born blonde!

hairFor all my fellow republicans, my fifth grade teacher, Cotton the cat, onetime wannabe gymnasts, and all the other blondes in the world … sorry to have kept you in the dark all these years, but I’ve been holding onto a few secrets …

One, a few years back I voted for a democrat. (And I’d do it again if I thought the democrat was better suited for the particular office — I used to vote straight party. But I used to believe it was more courageous to be steadfastly loyal to my party than be bold enough not to.)

Then there was this, when I was eight I didn’t quit gymnastics because I didn’t like it, I got kicked out. (See I thought it was funny to act like a domino whilst in a headstand, and therefore knock everyone else down … one by one. Clearly, my instructor didn’t have a very good sense of humor.)

A few years later, in the fifth grade, I slammed a door so hard it caused all my mom’s china to fall out of the hutch and shatter into a million pieces on the hardwood floor. (I blamed it on the cat. Sorry, Cotton. May you rest in peace.)

Also in the fifth grade, I sat in front of a tanning light for so long that it burned my face so bad my nose didn’t stop running for a week. The next day at school when my teacher asked about my sunburn I told him I’d spent the weekend at the beach. (I lived in the Pacific Northwest — pretty sure he might have figured that one out before now.)

Oh, and I’m not a natural blonde — (But is anyone these days?) I was, however, born blonde :)

Today’s post inspired by The Daily Prompt: Evasive Action“What’s the most significant secret you’ve ever kept? Did the truth ever come out?” Well, yea … I guess it has now.

4 Comments

  1. I did something very similar to slamming the door and breaking the china… I do recall there being a hole in the plaster in the wall where the handle smashed into the wall. I tried to blame my brother but I am terrible at lying and my dad saw straight though it :(

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