How to give the perfect insult in Pig Latin…

pig latin

Youyay ightmay ebay ethay iggestbay idiotyay onyay ethay anetplay.

I didn’t learn much from my grandmother — and in all honesty, I don’t have a bank of fond memories to fall back when I think of her. But, while it goes without saying that she was from a different era, it wasn’t the generation gap that kept us from being close. It was pure personality rooted in two very, very different upbringings. She was (literally) fresh off the boat from the “old world”, married at thirteen to a much older man, became a mother at fourteen, worked more hours in a day than I ever would in a week, scrubbed soiled clothes on a washboard, and counted her money down to the very last coin. Me, on the other hand, I was born right here in the privileged United States, was concerned about nothing other lip gloss and movie stars at fourteen, and to this day have yet to balance my checking account (not a good trait, but true nonetheless).

BUT. While I never learned much from her, I did learn one thing that has served me well over the years. Not in everyday conversation mind you, but behind closed doors, under my breath I can mutter an entire paragraph of insults without anyone else having a clue about what I’m saying because my grandmother was a master linguist. Not only did she know Gallic, and maybe some German, but she was fluent in pig Latin. Fluent I tell you! So thanks to her, when a stranger fries me when they cut me off in line or just plain fries me because they’re eating chips too loud at Starbucks while I’m trying to write at the adjoining desk, I can tell them that they just might be the biggest idiot on the planet, and they won’t have a clue. Hell, if anything they’ll think I’m crazy. Which does sort of surprise me — I mean am I the only person that knows this long forgotten language? Isn’t there someone out there, someone anywhere that knows pig Latin? Anyone??

Oesday anyoneway elseway owknay igpay atinlay?

Today’s post inspired by The Daily Prompt: Drawing a Blank“When was the last time you walked away from a discussion, only to think of The Perfect Comeback hours later?” Needless to say, I never have to walk away — while my comeback might not be clever at least it will be delivered. OH, and if anyone cares, one day I plan to learn Italian. And then I would be able to speak Italian Pig Latin and the world would be at my feet : )

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Big Daddy says:


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