How you can forgive, without forgetting

ImageIf you sit in a rocking chair and rock slowly you will never go anywhere. Likewise, if you rock fast, you will never go anywhere. But you will sweat, and worry, and develop blisters on your hands from gripping the handles so hard. Anger is like that. If you hold on to it, it will get you nowhere.

“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” ~ Buddha

Grudges and anger go hand in hand. One does not exist without the other — find an angry person and you will no doubt find something, or some things, incidents, events, people, persons, that they cannot forgive. Why is that? Forgiveness is not the same thing as forgetting … people don’t forget being hurt … but they can move beyond the sting and even rise above the desire to hate someone else for their wrong doing.

Most people, however, while they like to think they don’t hold grudges —because, well, saying you forgive someone sounds far more lofty than saying you don’t — most of us do not have the inner strength, even courage if you will, to forgive others their misgivings, especially when they have done something that directly caused you to suffer. But that’s when we need to recognize the difference between forgiveness and forgetting. Forgiveness allows us to move on. It doesn’t heal the pain or blur the memory of hurt but it obliterates anger. And in my humble opinion, anger is a waste of emotion. While it should be acknowledged, it should also be disregarded as a complete and total waste of one’s energy. Because anger will destroy you … it will melt you. I’ve seen it — you’ve probably seen it …and it isn’t pretty. Besides, rocking chairs are meant for leisure, not for worry.

“Anger sucks. And it only leads to hate. And nothing good ever comes from hate.” Me : )

Today’s post inspired by The Daily One-word Prompt, “Angry.”

11 Comments Add yours

  1. Well penned. Anger is just one letter short of danger.

  2. janetstraub says:

    Completely agree with your post. Forgetting is not the same as forgiving. We don’t have to forget in order to forgive.

  3. I completely agree with you :)

  4. Terry River says:

    Your post is so good to read. Great!!
    Thank you for sharing, may I post it on my LinkedIn to share with my friends?

  5. May I just say what a relief to discover a person that really understands what they are discussing
    on the web. You definitely realize how to bring an issue to light and make it important.
    More people have to look at this and understand this side of your story.
    I was surprised you’re not more popular given that
    you most certainly possess the gift.

  6. Easter Ellen says:

    Great post on anger and where it gets us!

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