I just want a place to pee alone! 

So a girl walks into a bathroom (I know, you thought I was going to say bar, didn’t you) … not a swanky powder room, but a restroom – you know, like in an office building that houses roughly 3,000 other people on any given day.Yea. One of those bathrooms. One with twelve stalls, six sinks, a couple of full length mirrors and, for some odd reason or another, a scale.

 

So the girl wonders, “Why is there a scale in here?” Was it an afterthought of the building super who thought he’d be doing us all a favor by placing it in the far off corner … I mean cause you just never know when you might want to hop on and check your numbers? It’s weird, isn’t it? I mean who does that – who weighs themselves in a public restroom? 

 

Now IF it were one of those scales that also spurted out some magical fortune, well, OK. Then it would make sense. But a plain old silver metal scale? Not so much.

 

So the girl ignores the scale and enters a stall to do her business. She is alone in the massive restroom. She could have tempted fate and approached the scale, but nah, in the end that never works out quite the way she wants it to – so she leaves it be, and sits to pee (yes, that rhymed – I’m clever that way sometimes).

 

And then you know what happens next?

 

She hears the door open. Someone else has entered the room. There are now two people in the giant fifth-floor restroom. Two. Two people, twelve stalls, eleven empty. But what does this said other person do? No, she doesn’t weigh herself – she has to pee too … but with all the possibilities … stalls to the left, stalls to the right … yea, you guessed it. She chooses the one right next to the girl who was, up until that very moment, just trying to pee by herself. Sometimes, the girl wishes she could click her heels and be transported to some faraway place where she could pee without anyone else around – a place, mind you, that wouldn’t have scales but would have plenty of coconuts and bourbon and maybe a pirate or two … be it a façade, or be it real, just be it away. 

Today’s post inspired by the Daily Prompt: façade.

 

9 Comments

  1. I live in this apartment because I wanted to live alone. Anyway, it’s like a paper box, and I’m pretty sure my one neighbor commentates on everything I do. So, I see your pain and raise you one. It’s pretty maddening.

  2. Ha. We have a 6 stall restroom at work and I frequently end up next to someone. #1 has a wide crack between the wall and the frame. #2 has a loose seat. #3 is my favorite. #4 is Ok. #5 looks like it wants to pop off the wall. #6 is handicapped and saved for people doing a #2.

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