People piss me off. Not always. And not everyone. But every now and then, well, people piss me off.
Take the crazy lady at the grocery who has to smell a dozen cantaloupe before picking one out only to decide at the checkout that she really doesn’t think it’s ripe and therefore doesn’t want it after all. (Oh, was that you? Sorry, but come on already!)
And then there’s the other crazy lady at the table opposite me trying to decide between the New York strip and the bone-in rib eye … but settles on a fking salad. (Oops, that was you too? Again, I apologize but unless this is your last meal on Earth could you just decide so the waitress can make her way over to my table, please.)
Oh, oh, oh … and let’s not forget the crazy lady at the paint store who can’t decide between white umber, Nantucket white, white dove, white linen, picket-fence white, ashen white … I mean for the LOVE OF GOD … it all looks the same when it’s on the flippin’ wall!! (No don’t tell me? You again?)
Ugghhh … sorry to call you out like that … I’m not trying to be mean or anything. When it comes right down to it, I kinda like crazy anyway. Besides, crazy people don’t really piss me off, they just amuse me. The people who really piss me off are the ones who want to actually talk about the “crazy” … the serious “crazy” shit that hides under the layers. The shit that’s supposed to stay hidden because, well, because it’s crazy. Or is it?
I think I need a soma holiday. Who wants to join me?? Oh, and for those of you that don’t quite get that literary reference, don’t worry … you’re not alone … I doubt the crazy lady did either.
DISCLAIMER: I’m a writer and an editor. And I try my best to make sure every post is articulate and free from errors. However, being that I edit my own work—and it’s next to impossible to properly edit your own work—I admit, occasionally there may be an error or two I miss. But doing so doesn’t make me an idiot so don’t be mean. Just smile, pat yourself on the back for finding an error and be glad you’re not the only one who makes mistakes sometimes … xoxox