What happens when the blackbirds escape the pie they were baked in?

There are, according to my mother, 40,000 birds in my garage. That’s right. Forty thousand. Four, zero, comma, zero, zero, zero. I have a nice house. But I’m not a Rockefeller. I don’t have a garage that would house 40,000 birds—no even tiny hummingbirds. And quite frankly, I don’t think 40,000 of anything would fit…

What do hummingbirds and time have in common?

The last six weeks have buzzed past me like a hummingbird buzzes around the feeder I have in my backyard —she’s there, I see her, but then as soon as I try to acknowledge her, she flies away. Gone. Like the last six weeks …

Why you should heed what Mufasa said …

Mufasa: Everything you see exists together in a delicate balance. As king, you need to understand that balance and respect all the creatures, from the crawling ant to the leaping antelope. Simba: But, Dad, don’t we eat the antelope?

Forgive me, but I don’t give a rat’s #%@#$ about your hamster!

Recently, I cleaned up my blog subscription list — only thing is, I keep getting notifications from several blogs that I would really like to stop getting notifications from. Nothing personal, but if you are blogging about coupons, your kid’s first loose tooth, a new way to make lasagna, the seventy fifth diet you’re starting,…

I feel bad about the whole cat thing … but I was born blonde!

For all my fellow republicans, my fifth grade teacher, Cotton the cat, onetime wannabe gymnasts, and all the other blondes in the world … sorry to have kept you in the dark all these years, but I’ve been holding onto a few secrets … One, a few years back I voted for a democrat. (And…

Spell THIS, then spell THAT!

“You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” Or “You are never too old to learn.” To which idiom you subscribed, probably depends on what kind of a dog you are … and possibly, how old of a dog you are. It’s a rarity that I use the canine species to prove a point or…

The Chicken or the Egg??

My mother is in town.  According to Mapquest she lives two thousand, two hundred and forty four point fifty three miles from me.  We Skype.  We talk on the phone almost daily.  She mails me newspaper articles that she thinks I should read.  But as you can imagine, we don’t see each other every other…

The Average Life of a Fruit Fly

Ever set one of these up before?  It’s a fruit fly trap.  A paper funnel in a Ball jar with vinegar and rotten fruit in the bottom.  We probably caught two hundred fruit flies … really.  Our kitchen was loaded.  And what does my animal-loving twelve year old do with the jar … she takes…