This just in — Trump drops bid for presidency (JK)

Real good news doesn’t come along very often. And by “good news” I’m referring to the kind that makes your heart stop (of course it doesn’t really stop, ‘cause that would be bad news and defeat the whole purpose of the good news). I’m referring of the kind of good news you don’t expect. Like…

DO NOT cash grandma’s stock to go on spring break!

High school was awesome — like really, really, awesome. I only wish I’d realized just how awesome it was when I meandered the hallways. Don’t get me wrong — I have zero, zilch, not one iota of an inkling, to return to those days, BUT if my Genie would appear and grant me unlimited wishes,…