Originally published between 2015 and 2018, this post has been updated but preserves its original publish date as best as possible as content is migrated from the archives of The Flavored Word.
So, the last time it was the night before a race for me, I did the noble thing and shared with the world the absurd advice I was given once on how, and why, I should give myself a coffee enema. And now that it’s that time again, the night before a big race, I feel obligated to share some more advice for all you novice runners out there. Some advice that while yes, it does center around coffee again, it does not (beg the intentional pun here) center around the backside of absurdity. So, here it goes … do NOT under any circumstance, add butter to your prerace cup of joe.
First of all, why would you? I mean enough with all the latest wanna-lose-weight-crap (oh, look, another pun) just add butter in your coffee … Although, come to think of it, the mere thought of adding butter to my coffee makes me want to vomit on the spot—not exactly a weight loss method I’d approve of, but well, chasing a meal with a butter-laden latté does churn the stomach.
But even so, I’m forewarning you … the morning of race day is not the time to try out this newfangled idea of what’s good for you. Do what you always do … and take heed not only from me, but from the mighty Twin-Tailed Siren herself (yes, yes, you know the woman I speak of … the green goddess who bears her likeness over her celestial brewed offerings aka Starbucks). Because as far as I know, she has yet to include a vat of melted butter next to the half and half that sits on her bar, and until she does, I shall refrain from adding butter to my coffee and I highly suggest you do too, be it race morning or not.
Cover image is me, putting coffee into my body the correct way.
DISCLAIMER: I’m a writer and an editor. And I try my best to make sure every post is articulate and free from errors. However, being that I edit my own work—and it’s next to impossible to properly edit your own work—I admit, occasionally there may be an error or two I miss. But doing so doesn’t make me an idiot so don’t be mean. Just smile, pat yourself on the back for finding an error and be glad you’re not the only one who makes mistakes sometimes … xoxox
Leave a Reply