So, I wrote a book. Most of you know that. Actually, I’ve written a couple — I just only released one. And when it came out, I was thrilled. The attention, the press, the reviews from complete strangers who saw something in my work… it was more than I hoped for.
But what amazed me — what still amazes me — is how some people, people closer to me than any reviewer, had no trouble labeling me a “show‑off” or a “bragger.” And honestly, it confused me.
Should I not smile when people ask me about it? Am I not supposed to be proud of my work? Should I not tell people about the book signing that Starbucks hosted? Should I just sit in a corner and hope my book sprouts wings and flutters about marketing itself?
Years ago, I let one person’s comment dictate my worth. I let it shrink me. I let it feed my inner critic until it wanted more, and I slipped into imposter syndrome because of that single experience. It didn’t matter what anyone else said. It didn’t matter how many strangers praised the work. I focused on her assessment, and it shaped how I behaved for a long time.
And the irony? I wasn’t talking about my book nonstop. If anything, I barely talked about it at all. I waited for someone else to bring it up, then pretended to be embarrassed, gave the bare minimum, changed the subject, and secretly hoped they wouldn’t buy it — because of course they wouldn’t like it. I wasn’t a good writer. So said the monsters.
Eh.
Why are some people so mean? Why do some relish in diminishing others? Does it make them feel better? Does it level the field? And why would I consider someone a friend who’s quicker to call me arrogant than congratulate me for pursuing a dream, working hard, and making it happen?
Today’s prompt asks whether we’re shaped more by our experiences or by who we are. And here’s what I’ve learned:
Experiences can bruise us. But who we are decides whether we stay bruised.
On this week’s podcast, I talk about this exact moment — and the importance of remembering your worth, no matter what the monsters throw at you.
Today’s post inspired by the WordPress daily prompt: Do you think we’re shaped more by our experiences or by who we are? Cover image is me enjoying the sun in Savannah, outside our hotel.
If this spoke to you, be sure to “like” and share it over social with someone who’d appreciate the flavor …
DISCLAIMER: These are my personal experiences and opinions. Nothing here is medical, nutritional, or therapeutic advice. Also, I’m a writer and an editor. And I try my best to make sure every post is articulate and free from errors. However, being that I edit my own work—and it’s next to impossible to properly edit your own work—I admit, occasionally there may be an error or two I miss. But doing so doesn’t make me an idiot so don’t be mean. Just smile, pat yourself on the back for finding an error and be glad you’re not the only one who makes mistakes sometimes … xoxox
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