If This Is How I Handle a Short Trip, Imagine the Longest One

a cartoon sketch of a man eating Cheetos in an airport.

Picture this… I go to get my coffee (yes, I’m traveling today) after security, because why would I want one more thing to juggle in that line? And shoutout to Indy TSA because it was speedy AF. After a friendly pat‑down — “yes, I have metal in my feet, no, I don’t want to talk about it” — I commit to the 20‑minute Starbucks line.

Five minutes in, the guy behind the counter announces, “We’re unable to serve espresso or make steamed milk.” Excuse me? No espresso? What’s the point? I look around and no one moves. So, I say, “Is this a joke?” Still nothing. I bail, remembering there’s another coffee spot down at the end of Concourse A.

I walk past gate 10… gate 17… gate 25… and the place is GONE. Like vanished. WTF.

So, I settle for a tiny café that might have decent coffee. I order a cappuccino, chat with the barista — he seems competent — and he hands me my drink. I find a perfect chair with a charger, sit down, take a sip… and it’s a vanilla latte. Again, WTF.

And now, as the final insult, the guy next to me is eating Cheetos. It is never okay to eat Cheetos next to a stranger. Especially when the stranger (me) forgot her headphones. First‑world problems, sure, but FTLOG someone please make it stop.

So yeah… a long trip? I wouldn’t make it. Not with this energy. Not with orange fingers in my peripheral vision. I’m Not even past Gate 12.

If this spoke to you, be sure to “like” and share it over social with someone who’d appreciate the flavor …

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