Holding on to anger is like gripping the handles of a rocking chair and trying to make it move somewhere. You can rock back and forth all day, sweat, worry, and blister your hands… but you won’t get anywhere. Anger is like that. The tighter you hold it, the more it hurts you — and the less it changes anything.
Grudges and anger go hand in hand. One doesn’t exist without the other. Find an angry person and you’ll find a list of things, incidents, betrayals, misunderstandings, people they cannot forgive. Why? Because forgiveness is not the same as forgetting. People don’t forget being hurt — but they can move beyond the sting and rise above the desire to hate someone for their wrongdoing.
“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” ~ Buddha
Most people like to believe they don’t hold grudges — because saying you forgive someone sounds noble, mature, evolved. But the truth is, most of us don’t have the inner strength (or the courage) to forgive someone who caused us real pain. That’s where the difference between forgiveness and forgetting matters. Forgiveness lets you move on. It doesn’t erase the memory or heal the wound, but it dissolves the anger. And anger… in my humble opinion… is a waste of emotion.
Acknowledge it, yes. But don’t worship it. Don’t feed it. Don’t let it melt you from the inside out. I’ve seen it happen. You’ve probably seen it too. And it isn’t pretty.
Self‑care isn’t just bubble baths and quiet mornings. Sometimes it’s choosing not to let anger run your life. Sometimes it’s letting go before it destroys you.
Besides… rocking chairs are meant for leisure, not for worry.
Cover image created with Jetpack.
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DISCLAIMER: These are my personal experiences and opinions. Nothing here is medical, nutritional, or therapeutic advice. Also, I’m a writer and an editor. And I try my best to make sure every post is articulate and free from errors. However, being that I edit my own work—and it’s next to impossible to properly edit your own work—I admit, occasionally there may be an error or two I miss. But doing so doesn’t make me an idiot so don’t be mean. Just smile, pat yourself on the back for finding an error and be glad you’re not the only one who makes mistakes sometimes … xoxox
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