Originally published between 2011 and 2014, this post has been updated but preserves its original publish date as content is migrated from the archives of The Flavored Word.
“… Promise me, son, not to do the things I’ve done. Walk away from trouble if you can. It won’t mean you’re weak if you turn the other cheek. I hope you’re old enough to understand: Son, you don’t have to fight to be a man …” —Kenny Rogers, “Coward of the County”?
I grew up with those lyrics. And many similar “story” songs by the likes of Loretta Lynn, Ronnie Millsap, Marty Robbins, Roy Clark, the Statler Brothers (yes, we’re talkin’ County AND Western here folks Blues Brothers, right?!!). To this day, I love that kind of music (both kinds)—of course most of these aforementioned artists were singing their tales of woe long before music videos became mainstream, and I think, that perhaps I liked the genre so much because my brain had to fly off on a tangent and create the characters in my imagination … similar, I suppose, to writing the fiction I do now.
But, unlike the father’s suggestion in “Coward of the County,” when faced with the fight or flight decision I typically have not been the one to turn the other cheek. No, usually I have been the fighter. I have tried, over the years, to learn the difference between the good fight and the bad fight, to recognize what’s worth fighting for and what’s not, and I try to ignore intentional provocations. But sometimes, the irrational side wins out and I succumb to fighting a bad fight.
Once, not all that long ago, I let a “provoker” needle and needle me until I was backed into a corner so deep my conscience wrapped me with battle armor and forced my hand. And unfortunately for me, in my rage of fury I did not spit out the wise words I had intended. Instead, I stumbled and let anger take over and my wrath was not as poignant as I’d liked it to have been. Dramatic, yes. Heart wrenching, no.
Still, I don’t regret having, shall we say, “flown off the handle” — because …
… there are times, when the risk of making a fool out of oneself is the far better choice than standing with one’s back against the wall …
“I promised you, dad, not to do the things you’ve done.
I walk away from trouble when I can.
Now please don’t think I’m weak, I didn’t turn the other cheek,
And papa, I sure hope you understand:
Sometimes you gotta fight when you’re a man.”
Cover image from Pexels’ free library.
DISCLAIMER: I’m a writer and an editor. And I try my best to make sure every post is articulate and free from errors. However, being that I edit my own work—and it’s next to impossible to properly edit your own work—I admit, occasionally there may be an error or two I miss. But doing so doesn’t make me an idiot so don’t be mean. Just smile, pat yourself on the back for finding an error and be glad you’re not the only one who makes mistakes sometimes … xoxox
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