People
Please, Stop Grooming in Public Places
First, the nails. And now she’s peeling a hard-boiled egg. If “Suzy Chapstick” is on my flight, I might have to change my plans …
I Need a Soma Holiday
People piss me off. Not always. And not everyone. But every now and then, well, people piss me off and quite frankly, I think I need a break from the …
Sloths Who Leave Grocery Carts in the Parking Lot
It only takes a few extra seconds and unless you’re so damn important not to have those extra seconds to squander, it seems reasonable to assume you’d do the appropriate …
What if Humans Came with Taglines?
I like to think I’m fairly articulate. Usually, I’m able to communicate that which I intend. However, recently I’ve noticed that what people “hear” isn’t always what I intend them …
Is Wickedness the Same as Evil?
Being wicked is not, by any stretch of the word the same thing as being evil. Pure evil is deliberate. It is premeditated cruelty with the agenda to cause pain …
Do These Pants Make Me Look Fat?
Some people have an inept way of making other people feel like crap. You ever notice that? Like you can be having an absolutely awesome day, and then—then some jerk …
Yes, I did Flip-Off the Village Idiot
I don my workout attire, drive to the club, sign in my name on the sheet to prove that I’ve arrived, waltz my way back to the room and EGADS, …
What Would You Do with a Vile of Truth Serum?
What if, for one day the human race was able to see the truth in every action, every circumstance, every situation—be it good or bad. Would we treat each other …
Any Wine Snobs Reading This?
Why is it when a plumber talks plumbing, a tenured teacher talks curriculum, a painter talks sheen, they are “experts” but when an acquaintance pipes up about wine, people often …
Finding Compassion for the Jerks of the Wrold
Perhaps the dingbat woman who won’t stop chatting with the clerk is lonely. Perhaps she has no one? And maybe the jerk fella who cut you off actually didn’t see you? As for the …
Thou Shalt Not Linger
I hate seeing people waste time lingering over past decisions when, forgive the coined phrase, time is precious. If you ask me, lingering should be the eighth cardinal sin …
I Just Want to Pee Alone
There are two people in a giant fifth-floor restroom. One enters a stall, of which there are 12. What does the other person do? Choose a stall on the other side? …
What’s to Like About a Garden Party?
Skinny people don’t seem to mind sweating. Have you ever noticed that? They can attend countless garden parties under the relentless summer sun and still look fabulous, regardless of the …
Calling All Ghouls and Goblins
I wish the leftover ghouls and goblins would rise from the confines of their respective deep storage bins and quietly swoop in and remove the jack o’lanterns that still adorn …
The Art of Chewing Loudly
I get that certain foods are going to be louder to chew than others but, IF you are going to eat something crunchy, could you close your mouth? God gave …
What if Your “Truth” is Preposterous?
Recently, I was in a situation which led me to act out my raw and undiluted feelings and whilst I was having my little episode, to some people I may …
What Does Gum Chewing and Lingering Have in Common?
I absolutely loathe people who chew gum as if it was their last meal on Earth … how it’s possible to make so much damn noise chewing synthetic rubber? …
Sometimes You Need to Fight
Once, not all that long ago, I let a “provoker” needle and needle me until I was backed into a corner so deep my conscience wrapped me with battle armor and …
Legwarmers and Critisicm
The beauty of our society is, we are free to choose what we read, what we believe, and what aerobics classes we attend; legwarmers or not …