I Need a Soma Holiday

A blond woman enjoying a smore with marshmallow on her fingers.

People piss me off. Not always. And not everyone. But every now and then, well, people piss me off and quite frankly, I think I need a break from the human race.

Take the crazy lady at the grocery who has to smell a dozen cantaloupe before picking one out only to decide at the checkout that she really doesn’t think it’s ripe and therefore doesn’t want it after all. (Oh, was that you? Sorry, but come on already!)

And then there’s the other crazy lady at the table opposite me trying to decide between the New York strip and the bone-in rib eye … but settles on a f’king salad. (Oops, that was you too? Again, I apologize but unless this is your last meal on Earth could you just decide so the waitress can make her way over to my table, please.)

Oh, oh, oh … and let’s not forget the crazy lady at the paint store who can’t decide between white umber, Nantucket white, white dove, white linen, picket-fence white, ashen white … I mean for the LOVE OF GOD … it all looks the same when it’s on the flippin’ wall!! (No don’t tell me? You again?)

Ugghhh … sorry to call you out like that … I’m not trying to be mean or anything. Besides, when it comes right down to it, I kinda like crazy anyway. Besides, crazy people don’t really piss me off, they just amuse me. Still, I think I need a soma holiday. Who wants to join me?? Oh, and for those of you who don’t quite get the literary reference, don’t worry … you’re not alone … I doubt the crazy lady did either.

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