Originally published between 2015 and 2018, this post has been updated but preserves its original publish date as best as possible as content is migrated from the archives of The Flavored Word.
For all the republicans I know, my fifth-grade teacher, Cotton the cat, onetime wannabe gymnasts, and all the other blondes in the world … sorry to have kept you in the dark all these years, but I’ve been holding onto a few secrets …
A few years back I voted for a democrat. (And I’d do it again if I thought the democrat was better suited for the particular office—I used to vote straight party. But I used to believe it was more courageous to be steadfastly loyal to my party than be bold enough not to.)
Then there was this, when I was eight I didn’t quit gymnastics because I didn’t like it, I got kicked out. (See I thought it was funny to act like a domino whilst in a headstand, and therefore knock everyone else down … one by one. Clearly, my instructor didn’t have a very good sense of humor.)
A few years later, in the fifth grade, I slammed a door so hard it caused all my mom’s china to fall out of the hutch and shatter into a million pieces on the hardwood floor. (I blamed it on the cat. Sorry, Cotton. May you rest in peace.)
Also in the fifth grade, I sat in front of a tanning light for so long that it burned my face so bad my nose didn’t stop running for a week. The next day at school when my teacher asked about my sunburn I told him I’d spent the weekend at the beach. (I lived in the Pacific Northwest— pretty sure he might have figured that one out before now.)
Oh, and I’m not a natural blonde—but is anyone these days? I was, however, born blonde 🙂
“What’s the most significant secret you’ve ever kept? Did the truth ever come out?” Well, yea … I guess it has now.
Cover image from Pexels’ free library.
DISCLAIMER: I’m a writer and an editor. And I try my best to make sure every post is articulate and free from errors. However, being that I edit my own work—and it’s next to impossible to properly edit your own work—I admit, occasionally there may be an error or two I miss. But doing so doesn’t make me an idiot so don’t be mean. Just smile, pat yourself on the back for finding an error and be glad you’re not the only one who makes mistakes sometimes … xoxox
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