“Absolute absurdness has settled in. Only I’m not completely and totally lost. I mean I am, but I’m not …” That’s a line from a journal entry I wrote almost seven years ago. And while I looked fine on the outside, 2020 took a toll on me in ways the pandemic alone couldn’t explain.
Feeling my way through the darkness. Guided by a beating heart. I can’t tell where the journey will end. But I know where to start. They tell me I’m too young to understand. They say I’m caught up in a dream. Well, life will pass me by if I don’t open up my eyes. Well, that’s fine by me.
Sure — restaurants closed, borders shut down, and my career as a food and travel writer evaporated overnight. I pivoted into PR (thankfully landing a solid gig), and my friend and I walked every single morning for two hours, reading those little historical plaques around the city like we were discovering buried treasure. That part was good. Really good.
But other things spiraled.
I lost someone who was never supposed to leave my side. I had major surgery — metal inserted into three joints. I had to stop running (and if you know me… you know). There was a divorce. A cross‑country move. And yes, I cut my hair — which might sound trivial, but again… if you know me, you know.
I tried carrying the weight of the world, but I only have two hands. Hope I get the chance to travel the world, but I don’t have any plans. Wish that I could stay forever this young. Not afraid to close my eyes. Life’s a game made for everyone, and love is a prize.
And then I jumped. A leap of faith. I landed — not exactly on my feet. But I learned how to stand up.
So, wake me up when it’s all over. When I’m wiser and I’m older. All this time I was finding myself, I didn’t know I was lost. ~ Lyrics, Avicii’s “Wake Me Up”
So, here I am. Is it where I belong? The verdict is still out. Am I happy? Yes. And yet, some days, I still navigate the fog — the absurdity — and some days (in case you’re new here), I’d give anything for a soma holiday.
Today’s post inspired by honesty … and the WordPress daily prompt: What’s a song lyric that has stuck with you forever? Cover image created with Google AI.
If this spoke to you, be sure to “like” and share it over social with someone who’d appreciate the flavor …
DISCLAIMER: These are my personal experiences and opinions. Nothing here is medical, nutritional, or therapeutic advice. Also, I’m a writer and an editor. And I try my best to make sure every post is articulate and free from errors. However, being that I edit my own work—and it’s next to impossible to properly edit your own work—I admit, occasionally there may be an error or two I miss. But doing so doesn’t make me an idiot so don’t be mean. Just smile, pat yourself on the back for finding an error and be glad you’re not the only one who makes mistakes sometimes … xoxox
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